27Dec-2023 :: Everything going wrong
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As the year ends, it seems like just everything us going wrong.
In 2018 when my kidneys started to fail, the Dr said I had about 20% kidney
function remaining. It has been that way all along. This past couple of days
I think I am loosing even that, and going into total kidney failure.
The little corner market I shop at downstaits got a new credit card
reader. Naturally none of my bank cards work with it. So I am running
out of food and smokes.
There also seems to be problems with my transportation for dialysis.
United health is switching to a different transportation provider.
17-Dec-2023 :: No Show
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I was unable to do my show today because of an internet problem. The computer
I use to broadcast my shows, which has all of my music on it, was unable
to connect to the network. It kept saying "No more user sessions."
Which is bullshit. We are supposed to be allowed to connect two devices.
My gaming computer is online, that is one. The broadcast computer should
have been device 2.
Naturally, being Sunday, I wasn't able to reach anyone.
08-Dec-2023 :: American Truck Simulator
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I have been very busy the past couple of days it would seem.
I spent several hours prepairing and updating my screenshot gallery for
American Truck simulator. You can find the gallery in games>solo on this
website or go directly to it here:
http://rexx.us/jitar/games_solo_ATS.html
Remember, you can also watch me play ATS Live from the link on my home page.
(Click the little house icon at the bottom of the left sidebar to go to the
home page)
07-Dec-2023 :: Spring in December
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During the time I was only able to get to dialysis once per week, I was
feeling pretty drained and sick. So I wasn't able to do much, including
cleaning my room. So now doing sort-of Spring cleaning.
In other news about me, I am starting to gain some weight back that I lost
while off dialysis. I normally hover around 80 kg (176 lbs) but had recently
dropped to 70kg (154 lbs). I had spoken to my Doctor about it, and he was a
bit concerned as some serious illness has weight loss as a symptom. Well
I had been very very careful about fluid knowing my trabsport to/from
dialysis was messed up. Now that I am back on regular dialysis seems
to be slowly going back up to "normal"
06-Dec-2023 :: Dropsie
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Many years ago I had a problem in that everything ub ny hands would suddenly
drop. That went on for many years, really rather annoying actually. It was
like everything I was holding woule actually jump out of my grasp seemingly
to commit suicide. It eventually went away, but I never did find out what
was causing it.
For some reason it stated again today.
26-Nov-1012 :: Archive Update
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I finally updated my radio show archive on my website. It includes all of my
radio and club shows up to today. Enjoy!
25-Nov-2023 :: 60!
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It does not seem possible that I am 60 years old today...
When I was much younger, I was convinced I would be dead by the age of 30.
I am not sure where this idea came from, but I suspect it has to do
with a near-death experiance when I was about 7 years old.
(Which I actually do not have any memory of it whatsoever. I only know
about it because of an old family friend/neighbor who told me about it.
But it makes sense considering my life-long back and leg problems.)
I was so convinced, that at 29 I drove myself into a frenzy and panic and
nearly did die. My Dr at the time though put me on a very strong
anti-anxiety medication.
But here I am. Sixty today. Half Cyborg because of all the implants.
But still alive. Although I suspect part at least of the reason
I am still alive is because God does not want to have to face me or
answer my questions.
Well 3 heart-attacks, kidney failure and most of my toes amputated later,
here I am.
21-Nov-2023 :: Trump
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Donald Trump Worries me. I can not understand why people are supporting him.
I have always been a Republican. I am for and support the Republic of the
United States. Trump is not actually a Republican, he is a fascist. His stated
goal is to overturn the United States Constitution and the rule of law in
this country.
What really worries me is that the last time a fascist was in power was
Adolph Hitler. It took a world war and cost the world many millions of lives
to get the fascist out of power.
Heil Trump? No I think we should not. It wont be worth it.
18-Nov-2023 :: Rip-Off
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Almost a year ago, I purchased Satisfactory on Steam. Now finding I have
been ripped-off. I love building games and have been enjoying playing it,
even to the extent that I downloaded the experiamental build and had been
testing it. About a month ago the experiamental version started crashing
on start-up. According to the forums, this was happening to a lot of people.
I had downgraded to the regular version to get it working again. Four days
ago they pushed the broken experimental build into the regular play branch.
Without it working.
I found out today that the problem is that they upgraded the engine which
will not run unless you have a specific CPU that supports AVX1 extentions.
Which my computer does not. Trying now to get them to refund my money since
their software will never again run on my computer. I am also downloading
a pirate copy of an older version via torrent. Since I have already paid
for the game which dosent work, I do not feel any guilt about obtaing
a pirate copy that does work.
10-Nov-2023 :: Jack
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I Finally decided to take a chance and ordered my Friday food to be delivered
from Jack in the Box. Well this time they delivered the Tacos but they
were very disapointing. Jack in the box tacos usually have a very specific
taste and texture. Very greesy which soaks into the shell and makes them
great. But these were a real let-down. It seemed like they were making them
to be like ones you can get at any two-bit taco stand. I dont think I will
be ordering from Jack in the box anymore. The burger wasnt all that great
either.
08-Nov-2023 :: Food Poisonig
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The past couple of weeks I have gotten back onto my normal dialysis schedule.
My new Medicare provider, United Health Plan has been providing taxi service
to get me to and from dialysis. They have also bought for me One-A-Day Men's
50+ vitimins and Ensure nutrition shakes for after dialysis. It was going well
and I was recovering from all the missed dialysis. Until this week.
Of course, every month I have to pay my rent. To avoid the extra fees for
paying using a credit card, I go get the cash to pay it from one of the casino
ATM's. And I usually go to the casino resturant, since I have to walk there
anyway. They have a Steak and Eggs special which i often get.
Although this month the Steak didnt taste right. It has a kind of chalk texture.
The Eggs didnt seem quite right either. I didnt end up finishing my breakfast.
That was last Saturday Morning. By Saturday Evening I was starting to get very
sick and had to run into the bathroom several times. And every little burp I
could taste the eggs again and now they were starting to taste rotten.
I missed dialysis on Monday as I didnt think I could be away from my bathroom
too long. I have never had diarrhea this severe ever before. Every 15-20 mins
cnd not just runny but wattery and like pressurized. I also missed dialysis
today because of it. I finally got some Imodium this morning which seems to
be helping.
08-Oct-2023 :: Disapointed
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Tonight something reminded me of the American Pledge of Allegiance.
When I was a boy, it was required to recite the pledge at the opening of
every school day. We took it quite seriously. But were taught more then just the
words, we were taught what they meant. I suppose heving been in a military
academy for some of my early elementry schooling, I have have been taught a bit
more then other students, not only about the pledge and it's meaning but about
civics and citenship.
In this age of MAGA ane the Trump cult, most younger people do not understand
that the United States is a Republic, and that the "Republican Party" is
all about furthering the Republic of the United States. Not about one man.
That it hasn't been tought to the younger generations, is indeed a very
sad disapointment to me.
"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all."
29-Sep-2023 :: Disapointment
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It is Friday. On Fridays (about half of the time) I order food to be delivered
by DoorDash. Kind of my treat for managing to make it through the week
and still be alive what with Dialysis and all.
Today I ended up ordering Jack in the Box. Jumbo Jack Combo, four tacos,
and a cheese-cake. Ended up costing over $26 and ... Naturally, the tacos
didn't arive. Which seems to happen a lot. I don't seem to have the problem
of missing items with other orders through DoorDash. I can order McDonalds or
Panda Express just fine.
Very Disapointing. I REAAlly wanted the tacos.
15-Sep-2023 :: STOP!
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I wish people would stop talking about Mr.Rump. He is the biggest Equites Atrum
(Horses ass) in the World. He is for some reason all over the news and youtube
and I am really getting sick of him.
He is already shown that he is a senile facsist. No one needs him anymore.
His victim mentality has gotten boring. He is a criminal, and that is why
the legal system is after him.
I really can not understand how he has a cult of followers.
So just shut up about him. He isn't worth your time, and certainly not mine.
30-Aug-2023 :: Amazingly Stupid Spammers
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It is absolutely amazing just how stupid the spammmers actually are.
For months now they have been trying thousands of addresses
each day on the Rexx mail server, hoping to get valid email addresses that
they can spam. I have automated programs that scan the mail system log
and lock them out with an "Access Denied" reject. Those who get insistant
and keep trying get added to the system firewall.
Stupid idiots don't even realize that Rexx now has less than 20 active
e-mail addresses. They aren't particularly common ones either. The odds
that they will actually find a valid mail address is not likely.
28-Aug-2023 :: Mass Shootings
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I clicked on the news tonight on YouTube, as I do pretty much every
night. The first item was yet another mass shooting. CNN reports there
have been over 400 mass shootings so far this year. This one, like
so many was race motivated. People... this is 2023. We are supposed to
be beyond this. I was not raised to hate anyone. It isn't something
can understand.
Except perhaps fascists. I suppose that my Father and Step-Father
having faught i WW1 against Hitlr and his fascist regime has a lot to do
with that. Which is why last night I sent an E-Mail to the Nevada
Secretary of State urging him to disqualify Donald Trump from the
Presidential election next year, on the basis of the provision of
article 3 of the 14th ammendment to the U.S. Constitution.
On a more peraonal note, I have been having considerable pain around
my dialysis access port. I think it must have gotten pulled sometime
Friday during my dialysis treatment.
23-Aug-2023 :: India
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My congratulations go out to India. With today's soft landing of the
Chandrayaan 3 unmanned spacecraft, India becomes the fourth country to
land on the Earth's Moon.
20-Aug-2023 :: Mandella Effect 2 / Hurricane Hillary
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Southern California had a Hurricane come ashore this Morning. The first
one of hit the wesr coast in over 80 years. Well that is what the news and
weather service say. But I remember one in 1977 or 1978. I remember watching
the Blue and Green Lightning from my bedroom window. Hmmm...
15-Aug-2023 :: Idiots! (Spammers and Hackers)
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For the past two months I have been working on trying to deal with the
spammers, hackers and general idiots who have been working over my servers.
I have locked out 670 spammers, 1276 e-mail harvesters, 1226 spammers who
were on the SORBS black-hole list, 717 people tryping to break in to
my mail servers and 108 people who just didnt get the message from the
access denied messages and had to be firewalled.
Now I am also having to deal with people attacking my DNS servers and
scanning my servers for ports they can try to exploit. And the script kiddies
trying web server cgi scripts (Which dont work because they do not exist)
to exploit.
The saddest scammer in the world this week showed up. No Richard my old
sales manager I'm quite sure dosent want your spam e-mails and didnt opt-in
to your mailing list .... He killed himself over 20 years ago. You didnt need
to try 30 different email addresses to try to find him.
If only 5% os all the scammers and hackers actually paid me for an account
I would be rich. Or at least not on Disability.
I have been running public DNS name servers for 30 years to benifit
everyone online. Until today. I have ad to lock them down to only
service the 2-3 customers I still have.
03-Aug-2023 :: Monthly report (Yawn)
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Not all that much happened to me this past Month. Just kinda resting on the
bottom all month.
The spammers though are continuing to drive me batty. In the past month I
have banned over 1100 e-mail harvesters, and some 700 trying to break in.
Id I had only had one out of twenty of these as actual customers It might have
been worth the effort.
Yesterday's dislysis really wiped me out, combined with a mild case of
heat exaustion. (The RTC Paratransit bus that was my ride left me waiting
over 30 mins in the heat.) So I have been milsly sick all day today.
10-July-2023 :: Hospital ER Visit
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About 1130am I started getting very sick, and it continued getting worse.
Abdominal cramps, diaherra, nausea, spitting up, severe backache. I figured
it was because I have missed so much dialysis recently due to the
transportation issue. About 330pm I had enough and called the paramedics.
St.Mary's did all kinds of tests. lood, ekg, x-rays, even a cat scan.
They finally determined that it wasnt a problem with my ,issed dialysis as
I had feared. The doctor said he thought I had some kind of virus/
02-July-2023 :: Satisfactory Life Update
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This past week I have been helping to Beta-Test the Game Satisfactory.
Which means I get to play around with featuresand objects that are not
yet available to the general public. If you would like to watch my live
broadcast... there is a link on the main page of my website.
<
I have been missing a lot of dialysis due to transportation issues. So far
not enough to get sick but I think I am nearing the limit.
06-Jun-2023 :: Updates on Life
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The transportation issues are contuning. I did manage to make it in for
Dialysis yesterday and Monday. Although Monday did not work, they could
not maintain pressure in the lines attaching me to the kidney machine.
They sent me home early after placing medication into my access port to
try to clear the blockage, Which worked. Yesterday worked fine although
it was only a bit over 3 hours instead of the normal 4 hours. They keep
delaying the start of the treatment and I must leave at 3pm to make
sure I get home with the current transportation situation. I am currently
waiting for the dialysis center insurance coordinator to get back to me.
In other news about me I am now beta-testing the experimental versions
of Satisfactory for update 8. You can watch using the link on the main page.
I have also been playing a lot of American Truck Simulator the past month.
I have quite a few screenshots of interesting things, which I will be creating
a page for so you can all see them.
11-June-2023 :: Radio Show Archive Updated
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I have updated my radio show archive. You can access the archive
with the link on the home page of this website.
Damn spammers are driving me nuts at the moment
06-Jun-2023 :: SPAMMERS!
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I went through the logs of the Rexx mail servers and found a lot of bullshit.
Spammers basically attacking the mail servers with address harvesters, and ones
trying to break in with various authentication protocols. I have spent the
past few days building counter-terrorist programs to automatically ban all
of these. It is just increditble to me just how many of these attacks and
attempts to gain access or break-in there have been.
In other news, the social worker at the Dialysis center is trying to find
a method for Medicapd to pay for my transportation, now that access to
healthcare is kaput. Fingers crossed!
01-June-2023 :: Transportation issues
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This past month I have been having trouble getting transportation to and from
my Dialysis treatments. I missed quite a few treatments last month because Access
to Healthcare, the paratrasit service I have been using, has not been available.
This week they informed me that due to the loss of their funding they do not
have ANY drivers available for this entire month!
The only other reall transportation for those of us in wheelchairs is the
county RTC Access service, which costs $3.00 each trip. Thats each way so
one day trip to and from Dialysis will cost me $6.00
As I am currently on SSD/Disability it is impossible for me to do this three
times a week. After paying my rent, I have very little money left to live on.
I need the dialysis to stay alive though so this is a major delemma.
18-Apr-2023 :: Vision
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I had a bizzarre experiance today. It has been my habbit for the past couple
of years to take a nap in the early afternoon. I got into the habbit because
of being on dialysis. I dont really watch TV so there is nothing to do while
one the kidney machine, so I nap during the treatment.
I do not normally dream while sleeping or napping, or at least I don't usually
remember them. Today though I did. I'm not exactly shure where I was or what
I was doing in the dream but I remember comming into an area that seemed to
me to be a cave with tall grass and there was a grey tabby cat. It wasnt one
of the ones I have had or known. I reached down to pet the cat and it
started to rub against me. Then it happened.
Suddenly I wasnt in the dream any more, but I think I was still asleep. I was
lying on my bed and looked up to see my step-father hovering over me.
I reached up my hand to shake his hand and suddenly poof! I was back
in the dream with the cat in the cave. A few seconds later I woke up,
startled by the experiance.
This vision is very confusing to me, as Mike and I never really got along
well. I think he was affraid of intruding in on the memory of my real
father but never realized that I never knew my real father. So we never
really talked or did anything together. And he did something when he
married my Mother that pissed me off, which I never forgave him for.
I'm not sure in the vision if he took my hand or not. But it is very
disturbing to me becayse he died in 2010. I have been thinking about
this vision all night. Maybe it means I am finally ready to forgive
and forget but I can't halp wondering how real the experiance was...
07-Apr-2023 :: Everquest
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Everquest and Everquest II finally made it onto Steam. They are free to
play now so the downloads on steam are free. Although I have been a member
since the beginning of 2002. The downloads are somewhat large so i expect to
be installing most of the day today. I will finally be able to live
broadcast in steam from both EQ1 and EQ2.
If anyone is interested in Joining me, I primarily play on the Drinal server
in EQ1 and on the Skyfire server in EQ2.
14-Mar-2023 :: ROBBED!
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This past Saturday My Room was robbed. I guess burgaralized would be more
correct. As if my custom these days, I set my phone alarm for 2:30pm and took
my afternoon nap. When the alarm went off, I got up, turned off the alarm then
went to the restroom which is down the hall. (Its a very old building I live
in. Built in 1901 as a hotel so it has shared restrooms.) I passed a young man
in the hallway but didnt pay any real attention to him.
When I returned to my room about 3 or 4 mins later, I started playing a
computer game. After about 20 mins I noticed I wasn't bumping into my
phone which is normally right next to my mousepad. I looked around for it
and moved the nightstand etc ... no phone. SHIT. Someone aparently came in
to my room and stole it. I was about to head downstairs to see if our security
guard was around and suddenly decided to check my dresser drawer where I
keep my wallet. SHIT! He took my wallet too.
I went downstairs, no guard. Borrowed a phone and called the police. I returned
to my room rather shaken, and checked my paypal account. The Thief had already
use my Paypal linked mastercard at the Downtown Bus station for $32.50 ...
The PayPal card is one of those RFID tap-to-pay cards that dosent require
a PIN number.
I immediately locked the card and started to figure out how to report my
cards stolen without a phone.
The police eventually came and took a report.
Early Sunday morning I figured out to use one of those web based free phone
services and started calling all of my credit card companies. I cancelled
and had replaced my PayPal card, and cancelled my EBT/Food Stamps card
but I had to wait until monday to request a replacement.
I couldnt reach Direct Express which is the Social security bank.
I had my mobile phone disconnected and bought a replacement. (Which is supposed
to arrive Wed/Thurs.
Monday I finally managed to reach Direct Express and have that card also
cancelled and replaced. They told me he had tried the card several times
with the wrong PIN# then aparenly called the automated system and changed
the PIN#. Then he bought another bus pass for $32.50 and then spent $15
in a liquor store across from the bus station.
In my wallet was my Washoe county disabled ID for the bus system. What he
bought at the bus station was 31-day disabled passes, meaning he is using
my ID to ride the bus free. He also got my Medicare cards, and social
security card.
What a nightmare. I'm almost out of food, and am out of smokes with no way
to buy anything.
06-Mar-2023 :: HELP! I'm BLEEDING!
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About 90 mins into my dialysis treatment today, I started to feel
something wet on my left side. I reached down to try to feel what it was
and my hand came back up covered in blood. I shouted for the tec/nurse.
When they had made some adjustments to the connector for the tubing that
hooks me up to the kidney machine, it hadn't been completely screwed
on. There was blood everywhere. I lost about a pint of blood.
Very Scary day. I had been getting short of breath and was a bit light headed at
first, but seem to be okay otherwise. Going to take it easy for a few
days though.
05-Mar-2023 :: Archive Update
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I have updated my radio show archive with everything up to today's show.
I am really starting to hate my new mouse and headset. The cord of the
headset is a bit too short so everytime I move it knocks over my drink, coffee,
or ashtray. The new mouse is wireless and keeps refusing to link to it's
little USB receiver. Grrrr. It also feels wierd not having the cable causing
resistance to movement.
03-Mar-2023 :: Website Update
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I have done a bit of work on the main index page of my personal website.
There is now back-end scripting to check my online status in the Steam
game platform. The Index/Home page now shows which game I am playing
at the moment. If I am in a game the page will show a link to my Live
Broadcast Stream so you can watch me playing in real-time.
The IVAO Flight status banner now only displays if I am actually in
Flight Simulator.
24-Feb-2023 :: Stranded
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I had a bit of a scare today. When I was being driven to dialysis today
a blizzard was starting here in Reno. We were slipping and sliding around.
When I got out of dialysis I found a voice mail on my phone that ATH was
going to close due to the weather, stranding me in south Reno. Eventually
I managed to get RTC (The county bus system) to take me home. Normally
they require at least 24 hours advance notice.
28-Jan-2023 :: Surgery / IVAO
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The surgery to replace my Dialysis access port went okay. It was done
Wednesday Aftenoon. I've been just taking it easy the past couple of
days to recover. I had already told the club DJ manager that I wasnt expecting
to do any shows this weekend.
I have been doing a lot in flight sim on IVAO the past couple of months.
I am now up to the #2 top pilot in IVAO's North America division.
https://xa.ivao.aero/web/#/pilotleaderboard
14-Jan-2023 :: New Show time /Surgery
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My Saturday show, Live from the Yiff has changed times starting today.
The new times are 8pm to 10pm Saturdays. You can come to the Yiff club in
Second Life to see me live, or listen to the Simulcast on
ourgenerationradio.com
My Dialysis access port is in the process of failing again. Ive had this
one for over a year and a half. So I will be having surgery to replace
it. Most Likely on the 25th of this month. Only a little dangerous, because
they have to attach it near the heart.
05-Jan-2023 :: IVAO
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Another Year is here already. I have only been making it to Dialysis about
once per week due to problems with transportation. Partly because of the
holidays. Getting a little worried about it though. Once in awhile to miss
is okay but this has been every week.
With all of the extra time I have, I have been spending a lot of time
flying on IVAO.
I got suprised a couple of weeks ago to find I was on the top-10 leaderboard
for the north american division of IVAO, in position #8. I have been steadily
creeping up the list and as of this writing I am the #4 highest ranked pilot
in the division. I know there are over 500,000 people on IVAO total based on
the ID numbers. Not sure how meny are in the division, probbably aroun 60k
to 80k... and I'm #4.. wow!
https://xa.ivao.aero/web/#/pilotleaderboard
Doing a lot of the 2023 tours already.
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